Building self-esteeem

"...anyone, whatever his or her ability, who meets with consistent failure is likely to develop self-protective mechanisms such as lowered aspiration and diminished engagement. The effects of social deprivations that were once seen in institutionalized retarded individuals (e.g., excessive desire for social reinforcements, wariness of adults, and outer directedness) are less common today because of the substitution of other forms of care, but inappropriate child rearing, successive foster homes, or both may have similar effects."
Two tails of the normal curve: similarities and differences in the study of mental retardation and giftedness. by Robinson, Nancy M.; Zigler, Edward; Gallagher, James J.
linked from: http://www.kreimeier-smith.de/giftedadults.htm

These are things that I've experienced, and part of why when I read Jean Vanier's writings on loneliness and the need for individuals with mental illnesses to be a part of a nurturing community, I felt such a strong connection.

This could also be a key to how to start to free myself from doubt, lowered self-esteem and lowered confidence. (In conjunction with the previous post) That is, to succeed and have such achievements recognized. But that also requires realistic goals; I should not attempt tasks too easy or too difficult for the ego inside me would sense the falseness of such.
And perhaps I should also begin to take to heart thanks and congratulations on tasks that I consider universally easy. I am beginning to understand that perhaps it is not that everyone with a few exceptions is thusly capable, but instead that I, in such a case, am an exception.


.... and I found support in the same paper right after I wrote this post!
"Problems of avoidance and self-doubt are more likely to occur, however, if gifted students are chronically underchallenged and then confronted with more difficult tasks (Dweck, 2000)"

Nourished socially

This is the sense of fulfillment I experienced in Egypt: a deserved ago-filling that seemed to match my actual abilities. An experience that had been lacking before.

Many youngsters who are gifted and talented appear driven, almost obsessed in their areas of genius. This explains some of the solitary pursuit. At the same time, there are feelings of ambivalence and inadequacy that emerge, since fully half of our self acceptance is driven by our value in others’ eyes. Human beings acquire ego development through interaction with others (Erikson, 1968). Thus, children who are “driven” to play music while peers are playing tag, lose out on valuable social nourishment and development of ego strength.

http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/~jde7/ese504/class/adolescence/Onlinereading7.html